My newsfeed is blowing up lately with articles about friends. There are tips on how to meet like-minded friends, how painful it is to lose them and why we need them. Lately I have been disappointed, frustrated and upset with the concept of friends… and then it dawned on me… I DO have that pie-in-the-sky awesome new BFF.
I DO have the friend who is always there, ready to drop everything to laugh or cry with me. She is always available to help, offer support and encouragement. She IS there – I just need to “use” her. You have that friend too, did you know that? She’s in your life right now!
A good friend of mine recently told me that “to have a friend, you must BE a friend,” truer words have never been spoken. Turn that saying around a bit: you shouldn’t DO for someone else what you wouldn’t do for yourself. Are you the understanding and empathetic friend? Do you always forgive your friends when they fall off the face of the earth, or when they are too busy to contact you? When a friend is having a bad day, do you let her vent and give her encouragement for a better tomorrow? Those are wonderful qualities to have, really, they are.
[bctt tweet=”Don’t do for others what you wouldn’t do for yourself! #Motherhood #Friends #Empower #BFF”]
But do you also forgive yourself when your calendar is too full with to-dos and not enough R&R? Do you give yourself an empathetic hug when you run from task to task without taking the time to really be present in any one of your actions? Do you tell yourself that tomorrow is a new day full of new opportunities when everything has gone wrong?
We need to dig deep inside, channel our inner-BFF and rise up to the occasion – each and everyone of us. YOU are your own best friend.
I have to give myself credit, I am a good friend to my tribe of mommies. I have a handful of moms who sit on the sidelines of my life, ready to cheer me along, pick me up when I am feeling down and to share a latte/ glass of wine/ piece of cake when the situation calls for it.
- For those mommies, I drop everything and run to be by their side when they need me.
- I do anything in my power to ease their pain, lessen their stress and make their smiles brighter, except for one….
- I show grace and patience with my friends, but I get frustrated and stressed with myself.
- Once in a while I forget to do all those caring, understanding and empathetic things for myself too!
Today I vow to do for myself all the things I happily do for others:
- I won’t stop being an awesome friend to my tribe, but I will add ME to my village.
- I will open my arms and lend an ear.
- I will be encouraging and empowering.
- I will trust and honor.
- I will do all the cute, funny and thoughtful things that I do for my other friends.
- I will enjoy her company, embrace her faults and compliment her quirks.
- I will be present with her.
- I won’t try to change her, as improvements aren’t necessary.
- I will laugh at her jokes, continue her string of puns, and send her uplifting messages.
- We will cry together and share our dreams wholeheartedly.
Please join me in adding just one more person to your tribe, your village, your posse, your homies. We could all use just ONE more friend – and this one is the most important – it’s the only one who will ALWAYS be there, so treat her kindly.
Showing yourself the same love that you give to others isn’t selfish or egotistical – it is necessary. In the long run, you won’t be anything for anyone else if you don’t take care of you.
Please share in the comments, who is your best mommy-friend? How did you meet her?
Herchel S says
My best mommy friend has been one of my closest friends for almost 20 years. I think the friendship has survived because we have similar parenting/moral philosophies. Some of my other friendships didn’t survive motherhood.
I also disassociated with friends that expected more than I could give them after I had children. When a friend starts to act like a jealous boyfriend and doesn’t seem to care that I would rather nap than go shopping the day after a bad night with a colicky baby…well I just couldn’t keep that stress in my life.