I recently had the pleasure of receiving a pre-released copy of 30 Day Marriage Challenge: Accepting the challenge to make your marriage better in one month by Becky Moseley, and I am thrilled to share my thoughts about it with you.
My late father always told us that marriage thrives best on an 80/20 give/take ratio. Give your spouse 80% and take (or expect) 20% in return. I used to go to my dad with my relationship woes and concerns, and he lovingly reminded me that a good partnership is not a 50/50 division of duties and responsibilities. He repeated his 80/20 so many times over the years that it became ingrained in my mind. As a matter of fact, when my husband called my dad in Denmark to ask for my hand in marriage, he was brought into the circle of trust and was reminded of the family secret “give 80 and take 20.”
I knew Becky’s book was going to be awesome when I read the following: “Marriage isn’t about getting YOUR needs met. A good marriage is about loving and serving your spouse. A good marriage is about giving one hundred percent and not expecting anything back, not giving fifty percent and expecting the same.”
We have now been married for nine years. As our relationship has ebbed and flowed through four pregnancies, child births and navigating through the medical complexities of one child we have time and time again been reminded of the “80/20” rule. Marriage is a partnership that requires attention, maintenance and time for enjoyment. It is not something to take for granted or to discount – with the proper attention and care it will grow beyond your wildest dreams.
Becky Moseley is no stranger to writing about the dynamics of a marriage and relationships in general. She shares heartfelt stories and advice on her blog: TALES OF BEAUTY FOR ASHES. In her book “30 Day Marriage Challenge” Becky gives you a daily task to complete. Each assignment is simple, yet often thought-provoking and never time consuming. Every day she shares a background story to the assignment, which makes it relatable to your own life. Becky is a great story teller and is not afraid of putting herself and her marriage out there for the rest of us to learn from their journey. At the end of the challenge, after 30 days of daily opportunities to improve your marriage she asks you to evaluate the process, which is as important as completing all the tasks.
This book is an invaluable resource for any couple (married or not) who wants to maintain and improve their bond. The exercise of focusing on your marriage DAILY for 30 days is incredibly healthy and one that I want to start doing periodically. With little kids, work, and just a busy everyday life it is easy to get “off track” and get in a routine of working together side by side.
Reasons to LOVE this book:
• Becky is a great writer and very relatable for anyone regardless of age, religion or background.
• Reading her personal experience is like chatting with her over a cup of coffee (or wine).
• The tasks are easy to complete and they don’t cost money or take up a lot of time. (Read: there really is no good reason why NOT to take this challenge)
• You are not focusing on negative behavior in your spouse. The tasks are POSITIVE changes/ tweaks/ improvements in YOU.
• Once you change your mind-set on your marriage, your spouse is sure to follow suit!
• Accepting the challenge and completing the tasks will make you more aware of the impact your reaction and attitude has on not only your marriage, but also other relationships with friends and family.
An “improved you” can only mean a “happier you.”
Check out Becky’s book, accept the challenge and think of me when you hug and smile more!
If you could change one thing about your marriage, what would it be?
You can follow Becky here – she is real and relatable!
This article is part of the “14 Days of Love” blog tour – Hop on over to the other blogs and be inspired by their awesome Valentine’s Day ideas!