When we first began dating, I knew that you would make a great father. Your gentle spirit and kind, loving heart was displayed by everything you did.
It wasn’t until we had our first surprise pregnancy in July 2006 that I realized just how desperately you wanted to be a father and how desperately I wanted to make that happen for you. At first, I was afraid of breaking the news to you since we had only been dating about 6 months.
I remember walking out onto that pier, the one that has been dubbed, “our pier,” since that day. I was so scared I was shaking. When I said those words, “I’m pregnant,” your face relaxed and you smiled with a sparkle in your eyes.
The following two weeks were nothing short of amazing. You were so excited and full of hope and joy. I remember the day you had to take me to the E.R. You held my hand as we learned our pregnancy was over. That day will never leave me. You were so incredibly strong and compassionate. I was devastated because I felt like I was stripping you of your fatherhood. It was that very day that you really showed me just how amazing you are. I knew that in your heart and mine, you would always be a father.
For years, we struggled to conceive again. We were married in 2007 and officially began our trying-to-conceive (TTC) journey. It was a long, trying time with countless ups and downs. You stayed by my side and remained steadfast in your love and unwavering support.
In 2011, just two days after your birthday, I revealed to you that I was once again pregnant. This time, things felt different. We were a little more conscious, a bit more aware of the fragility of pregnancy.
You helped me with everything (and I mean everything!). You did things that many men wouldn’t even consider. You took care of me at my worst. For three straight months of severe morning sickness, you were there by my side taking care of me in every possible way (remember shaving my legs with a bucket of water in the bedroom because I didn’t have the energy to stand in the shower?). You did things you shouldn’t have. And you did them all gently, without a single complaint.
The night our son Caleb was stillborn will remain one of my most treasured memories. Seeing you hold your son with the look of overflowing pride, love and sadness pouring from you face will be imprinted on my heart forever. Mourning the loss of our son was the most beautiful display of fatherhood I have ever witnessed. I love hearing you speak his name.
Praying over the possibility of adopting a baby girl almost two years later rekindled that memory of hope that had been long forgotten. Seeing you hold her that fateful day in early January reminded me just how desperately you wanted to be a father. Nothing is more beautiful to me than watching your hands caress the tiny cheeks of the baby girl we were hoping to adopt.
Five months later, we are celebrating Fathers’ Day “officially” as parents. For the first time, you were able to hold your child on this day and celebrate fatherhood. Sweetheart, this isn’t your first Fathers’ Day, you’ve always been a father; but now you have finally become a Daddy. I couldn’t imagine a more amazing and deserving man to hold that title.
Happy First Daddy’s Day my love.
Chirleen is this week’s guest blogger, visiting us from her blog “A Harvest Reaped”. She blogs about life as a new mom, her amazing husband (- and we can all agree that he is a keeper from what we just read) and her faith in Jesus. She truly writes from the heart – to the heart.