Thank you AstraZeneca for sponsoring this post. November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month. Now more than ever, there is reason for hope. Please visit LIVE W.E.L.L. and LVNG With Lung Cancer for more information.
How do you support a loved one recently diagnosed with cancer?
I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when my phone rang 22 years ago, 15 years ago and then again a year ago. I recall my mother’s shaky voice as she hesitantly shared the results of her latest medical tests.
She steadied her voice and uttered the words I never thought I would hear, and I certainly never thought I would hear them a second and a third time: “Tove, I have non-small cell lung cancer. But don’t worry, I am in good hands and I will fight it.”
I remember the hours and the days following the news. It’s said that things get easier with repetition. However, learning your loved one, especially your mom has cancer is exempt from that rule. It doesn’t get any easier.
After the initial shock has settled in your core, when the near-constant and unpredictable tears have slowed, you dig deep and find the big girl panties you reserve for times like these. This is your opportunity to rally around your loved one, shower them with love, hope and encouragement.
November is Lung Cancer Awareness month. Please help me spread awareness and more than anything, spread HOPE!
Did you know this about lung cancer?
- In 2018, an estimated 234,000 people will be diagnosed with lung cancer – that is three and a half times the number of seats in a typical professional football stadium.
- Lung cancer is not just one disease; about 80 to 85 percent have non-small cell lung cancer (NSCLC) and about 10 to 15 percent of patients have small cell lung cancer, and each category has many different subtypes within it.
- Because there are different types of lung cancer, when someone is diagnosed, it’s important to understand the specific characteristics of the disease, so they can find out which types of treatment are most appropriate for them.
- This is the crux of “personalized medicine” – ensuring each patient is treated according to the specific characteristics of their unique diagnosis.
Supporting a loved one with cancer:
- Be present in their lives.
- My mom lives in Denmark and I live in the Seattle area, so “being present” for us, doesn’t mean just physically.
- When my mom was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer 15 years ago, she mentioned once to me that she was so thankful for a relative who called her weekly to check in. I clearly recall our conversation that day and how her words stuck with me. At that moment, I made a promise to myself that I would call her every day – and for the most part, I have kept that promise. (It wasn’t until this past summer that I told my mom about the promise I made that day.)
- Checking in daily/ weekly gives you the unique opportunity to support your loved one through the ups and downs of their journey with cancer.
- Be REALLY helpful.
- Often we say “let me know if there’s anything I can do,” when in fact someone recently diagnosed with cancer doesn’t necessarily know what they need. They are overwhelmed, tired and just trying to make it from one day to the next.
- Instead of putting the burden of help on them, step in and offer real tangible support:
- Say some of these things instead.
- Set up a meal train
- Give them a care package full of magazines, blankets, socks and their favorite candies.
- Clean their house or hire a house cleaner.
- Pick their kids up from school and have them over for a play date.
- Help with the logistics of managing kids AND a busy medical schedule.
- Drive them to and from medical appointments.
- Attend medical tests and doctor conferences with them.
- Instead of putting the burden of help on them, step in and offer real tangible support:
- Often we say “let me know if there’s anything I can do,” when in fact someone recently diagnosed with cancer doesn’t necessarily know what they need. They are overwhelmed, tired and just trying to make it from one day to the next.
- Give them a break.
- Someone recently diagnosed with cancer feels like they have lost control of their life. Suddenly, their day is full of medical appointments, tests, concerns, meetings and uncertainty.
- Give your loved one a break from worrying about cancer. Depending on their health and available time, these ideas will provide a welcomed break.
- Watch a good movie together.
- Talk about your day – and share stories from your life. (Being included in non-medical normalcy feels good.)
- Start a fun hobby together.
- Take them for a haircut, makeover, pedicure or massage.
- Go for a walk in nature.
- Take a drive somewhere new and explore together.
- Help them become a student of their specific diagnosis.
- It is critical for cancer patients to become their own advocate, understand their diagnosis and talk to their medical team about what treatment options are right for them.
- Encourage lung cancer patients to visit LIVE W.E.L.L. and LVNG With Lung Cancer for current and relevant information.
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- Discourage cancer patients from searching blindly on the internet, as most statistics are outdated and inaccurate.
- Remind them that there are scientific developments made every day, improving treatment options and giving cancer patients more hope than ever.
- Educate and encourage your loved one to talk to their medical team about “personalized medicine” (*) and make sure they get their “biomarkers” tested.
(*) Personalized medicine:
- Lung cancers have certain “biomarkers,” which are unique traits of each individual lung cancer that can help patients and their doctors understand its specific characteristics and can play a role in determining what types of medicines the cancer is most likely to respond to.
- Biomarkers can be identified through “biomarker testing” to inform treatment approaches for each patient. This is often considered a form of “personalized medicine,” which includes treatments specially designed for certain tumor characteristics.
- Personalized medicines include targeted treatments for lung cancer with certain biomarkers, such as the epidermal growth factor (EGFR) mutation. EGFR is a protein found on the surface of some cells to which epidermal growth factor binds, causing the cells to divide. It is a common mutation of NSCLC, for which targeted medicines are available.
- Lung cancer treatment is a big decision, and patients deserve the best option for them from the get-go. Just as a team coach wants to draft the best player first rather than wait until a later draft round, there is no type of cancer where you shouldn’t choose your best option first for your specific type of disease. In order to get the best first, you have to test first.
- Although a critical factor, the choice of treatment comes down to more than just the effectiveness of a medicine – it can also depend on if and where the cancer has spread, like the brain for example, and the safety, tolerability and convenience of a given therapy. All these factors can help dictate what the best option may be, with the goal of living significantly longer without tumors spreading, while being able to truly live life with lung cancer.
- Given the complexity of these decisions, it is also very important for patients to have a comprehensive medical team that they trust, comprised of nurses, oncologists, surgeons, pathologists, and more. Each part of the medical team has a unique expertise and can provide critical insight throughout the treatment journey.
- The bottom line is that patients should be their own advocates: get tested for the right treatment options, wait for the results and start on the best option first.
The lessons I learned by having cancer in our lives:
There are a countless things I have learned since “lung cancer” became common words in our lives. Some of the most important ones:
- live each day to its fullest.
- remember to live in between doctors appointments.
- ask questions, even the hard ones.
- life WITH cancer IS possible.
- talk about everything, don’t leave things unsaid.
- HOPE lies around every corner.
This month, as we recognize Lung Cancer Awareness month, help me spread awareness and more than anything, spread HOPE!
And remember to have your loved one diagnosed with lung cancer go to these two websites for current, up-to-date important information:
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of CLEVER and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.
Jessica says
I really love this article about caring for a loved one with cancer but I wish it wasn’t so specific. I understand that the author is going through this specific cancer but it makes it hard to share when you have a different kind of cancer.