It is 4:00am and I wake up for the 15th time since I shut the lights off at 9:00pm and put Jonah in his cosleeper. Who took my boobs and exchanged them for canon balls?! And where is my baby? He normally falls asleep in his cosleeper, and then after he wakes up to nurse the first time, I let him sleep in my arms for the rest of the night. But tonight he is still in his cosleeper at 4:00am! Jonah slept through the night – and I DO NOT LIKE IT – and here are the three reasons why I don’t want my baby sleeping through the night– in random order:
# 1: I already mentioned that I woke up with rock hard boobs. These foreign objects attached to my chest are NOT comfortable – they hurt! I know that my body will eventually adjust to my baby’s needs and produce milk accordingly, but I don’t want to adjust. I don’t want to produce less. I want to wake up throughout the night to Jonah nursing, cuddling next to me – feeling close and knowing that he is getting everything he needs – love and nutrition.
# 2: Parenting is not a 9am – 5pm job. Moms don’t keep “banker’s hours” – we are “on” 24/7 and that was the gig I signed up for when I became a mom. I am going back to my corporate job in a week, and from experience with the other boys I know that night time is our chance to catch up on lost cuddles and closeness. None of the other three boys slept through the night until they were almost two years old – and I have never complained about it. It is true as they say – “I can sleep when I get old” – or since I have narcolepsy the saying is rather “I can sleep whenever and where ever” – but just not at the expense of missing out on bonding time with my baby.
# 3: What will I say to strangers?! When you are out in public with a baby every single conversation goes like this – verbatim…
Stranger: “That is a cute baby, how old is she?”
Me: “Thank you. HE is (whatever age at the time)”.
Stranger: “Wow, he is really big, isn’t he? So… Is he sleeping through the night yet?”
Me: “Yes, he is freakishly large. He is not sleeping through the night. But that’s how I like it!”
Stranger: “Oh!” (conversation comes to a halt since I didn’t complain over not getting enough sleep).
So now that I CAN report that he is sleeping through the night, I might be forced to carry on a lengthier conversation about how wonderful it is that the baby is not bothering us at night… Anyone who knows me can attest that I am NOT good at small talk (or random hugging – but that’s a different topic for later blog post).
So Jonah – for the love of your mama, her rock hard boobs and her sanity – please wake up! You can sleep through the night when you are in college – skip all the frat parties and go to bed early. But while you live under my roof, you better wake up every couple of hours – because I said so!
So true! I love your honesty Tove 🙂
Nicole – I knew you would understand… 🙂
Wonderful post! Sooo true!!
I always enjoyed the peacefulness of night time feeds!
I totally get it. My 3yo can’t go to sleep unless one of us is in bed with her (we sneak out later). Someone I know was trying so hard to “solve” my problem, with all these well-meaning suggestions, and finally I was like, you know what? I like it. It’s awesome snuggle time. She’s not going to let me do this forever.
I can promise you that it doesn’t last long – my 7 year old is too cool for school these days! They grow up TOO quickly – we can sleep when we get old! 🙂
Very true. In my case it makes me sad because he is my last baby due to health reasons so every first for him is a last for me. When he sleeps through the night it’s the last time I’ll do late night feedings and get those extra cuddles in. Seeing how quickly my others have grown I know that all too soon he will be mobile, verbal and more independent. I love it but I also dread it. So for now I cherish the one or two night feedings he still wants and pray that time will pass just a little bit slower so I can hold onto my last baby just a little bit longer and relish in the amazing bonding that nursing has given us.
I know what you mean – our 4th is also our last… and I am clinging onto his babyhood with my dear life!
Love your reasons! Mine never slept through the night, and I now realise how much we bonded during the long nights.
I know – I love the sweet cuddling in the middle of the night… I just want to freeze time!
Hi, visiting you via the SITS girls. Great post. Don’t feel bad about the questions and comments of strangers, LOL! My mom went through that with me. I was born bald as a billard ball and to my mother’s despair, I remained so until I was about two. On top of that, I started to walk at 10 months and became a serious furniture climber, so she dressed me with long pants to protect my knees, which translated with strangers into: “How old is the little guy? “Hmmm, she’s a girl!” “Oh, sorry, she’s a cute little thing, isn’t she? So don’t feel bad, just laugh it off. By the way, Jonah is really cute.
ha ha ha – thank you for your words of encouragement! I love bald little baby girls – they are so adorable!
LOL! I totally get this as I just stopped nighttime feeds and co-sleeping with my son a few weeks ago. He is 15 months old and I was at my breaking point – but I did enjoy it up until then! I still love pulling him into bed with us at 5:30am for another hour of sleep and some drowsy nursing.
Oh yes, I remember those first times of sleeping all the way through. It was a thrill and a “WAKE UP SO I CAN FEED YOU NOW!!!” feeling all at the same time. I’ve gotta be honest though, all of my kids slept through the night early on and I attribute my saved sanity to the fact that I was getting enough sleep. I probably would have felt differently if I had to go back to work though, and didn’t see them as much during the day. Also, the nighttime wake ups didn’t bother me as much with my youngest because I knew how fleeting those days were AND it was special one on one time that was hard to come by during the day.
I think after your first child you get a new appreciation for how quickly they grow up. I remember when our first was 6 weeks old, I was ready to throw the towel in the ring on motherhood… but then things turned around – and four kids later, I think I’ve got a hang on this thing! 🙂
Whatever works, for you. Personally, I like my baby and kid snuggles (I have a 20 y/o and a 7 y/o who sleeps w/me & I’d love suggestions to get him outta my bed!). I loved cuddling and taking care of them, as babies. I love parenting talking to, hugging them, hearing about their days/lives, etc., now. However, I love my sleep! Whether they woke up, during or slept through the night was fine with me; I enjoyed both equally, as well as the unsolicited advice-some was relevant, some wasn’t, and some at least gave me a hearty laugh!
I completely agree with you – I have always enjoyed having our kids in our bed. Our 8 and 6 year olds are out, and I do miss them in there… there is something sweet about sleeping with a foot in your face – but that’s not for everyone! 🙂
Love this! It is exactly how I felt! After the first baby, I tuned everyone’s opinions on sleeping through the night out and and enjoyed the experience much more.
Motherhood is so much better once you “stop caring” about what others think and talk about – and just watch your own kids!
Aw I agree so much with this, my little one sleeps through the night now and on her own in the crib in our room.
Haha! You are so funny…but I totally feel you…my 9 month old isn’t sleeping through the night yet and I love it…
Absolutely! And I miss them if they slept too long (which fortunately was a very rare event). That lovely baby smell and snuggles – who wants to miss out on even one. Not me. And like I guessed, before I knew it, they were over. Now if I stir at night I get to snuggle into them, but the breastfeeding nights are over for us now and it’s so sad. (Thank goodness we cosleep so I still get lots of cuddles).