One of my favorite parenting bloggers, Nina V. Garcia from Sleeping Should be Easy recently wrote her first parenting book: Parenting with Purpose: How to Raise Well-Behaved Children and Build a Strong Parent-Child Relationship. I am so excited to share the book with you, as I know it will truly help a lot of my readers to reconnect with their kids.
Nina, like the rest of us, is a parent. She is a working mother with three kids, so to say that she “gets it” is an understatement. She is truly with us parents, right there in the trenches. Her advice, recommendations and tips are down-to-earth and easy to implement. Nina leaves no stone unturned when she addresses parenting issues, but she does it without judgement or finger-pointing. She clearly explains what needs to happen in order for you and your child to be on the same page.
[bctt tweet=”End #sassy behavior even before it starts! Awesome tips from @SSBEBlog. #Parenting “]
I receive parenting questions from readers several times a week. Most of these issues I address privately and without involving others. However, I recently got a message from a friend and I was not able to help her because I have never run into the issue with our kids. (Knock on wood!) The inquiry came at a perfect time, because I asked Nina to help me address this mother’s concern.
I had Nina answer my friend’s question, but there is a lot more on the topic in Nina’s book (Parenting with Purpose). Should you encounter the same things with your kids, I highly recommend that you download a quick copy of Parenting with Purpose. I promise that Nina will get you back on track with your kids – back to a happier and better connected home.
My friend’s question:
“We have two girls, 8 and 5 years old. I really hope you can help me – I am drowning in sassy behavior. When I ask the girls to do something, I am immediately met with a “NO!” followed by hands on the hips. They often tell me things like “you are not a good mom” and “I wish so-and-so was my mom instead of you!” How do we put an end to these comments and sassiness?”
The first thing I would advise is to not take your kids’ behavior personally. I know words can sting, and hearing it from your kids can be tough to manage. Then, give your kids consequences if they don’t follow through with their responsibilities. Try to tie in the consequences with their actions so that they understand their behavior is causing the consequences (not that you’re just being a ‘mean’ mom).
If they still don’t do what they’re supposed to, follow through with the consequences, and stick to it. Do this consistently so they have boundaries and understand your family rules.
Throughout all this, make sure you speak calmly and respectfully. Projecting anger doesn’t resolve any issues and instead reflects on your kids as well. And speak kindly and respectfully, just as you’d want to be treated. I find that when kids feel like they’re respected, they feel like things are fair and are more willing to oblige.
Thank you, Nina for taking the time to help one of my readers. She also answered some of the burning questions I had about her book.
My questions for Nina:
Nina, I loved reading your book. What prompted you to start writing a parenting blog?
I’d been blogging for five years, and through that time, readers encouraged me to compile everything I’d been talking about into a book. I like the idea that all the parenting principles I learned are summed up in one book!
What parenting books do you find yourself referring back to as your kids get older?
I love Dr. Laura Markham’s “Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting” and Brené Brown’s “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.”
Do you parent the way you were raised? (How is it similar and how is it different?)
My parents weren’t as “into parenting” as I am, meaning they didn’t read parenting books or discuss discipline with their friends. But they loved us as much as I love my kids.
What is your best advice to new moms?
Do what works for you. You’ll digest tons of advice, so you’ll need to pick and choose what works for you and your family. We’re all in this together, even if we may do things differently.
Thank you, Nina for taking the time to share with us today – and especially a heartfelt “thank you” for writing this book. I will be referring back to mine for years to come.
Please do yourself a favor, check out Nina’s book and blog:
Book: Parenting with Purpose: How to Raise Well-Behaved Children and Build a Strong Parent-Child Relationship
Website: Sleeping Should be Easy, Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.
What parenting issue would you like to have addressed right now?
(Please leave your answer in the comments. I will contact you directly with an answer.)
herchel scruggs says
I have a sassy (though rarely truly disrespectful) daughter. I find that it helps to remind myself that the attitude she displays now will lead to an independent and strong young woman. She speaks up for herself at 6 so I have no doubt she will do so at 26.
I agree about not taking it personally when the sass is directed at mom. Little girls instinctively know how to hit where it hurts the most.
Mama in the Now says
I can imagine it must be hard not to take it personally. Do you think sass is more common in girls? I don’t really get a whole lot of sass from our boys – I get lots of other stinker-behavior, just not sassy!
Heather Garcia says
I could have written the question that was posted. My girls are 5 and 8 and have the sassiest attitude, and know how to push my buttons. I hope this book is available on Amazon because I need to purchase it.
I have a sassy 3 yr old as well and i struggle with remaining calm when i tell her to do something over and over…. then i have to deal with the “i want daddy”…and running to him… when she doesn’t want to listen to me…. i have discussed my frustration with my husband and she still doesn’t listen without repeat requests… i try to be a patient mama but it can get very frustrated… plus she’s the only child and we are in talks of having another very soon… but i need to resolve this first…
Mama in the Now says
I am SO sorry you feel frustrated. Three is a really trying age, TRUST ME – it has NOTHING on the twos! Consistency and making sure that you and your husband are on the same page. Our kids try to play us against each other too, but we have become a little smarter over the years! GOOD LUCK… Stick to it – and with time it WILL get better… but you may not want to wait with having another baby! Ha ha ha – the three year old sass CAN last into the fours! 🙂