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Mama In The Now

Boy Mom Life With Humor and Hygge

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My Promotion!

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There are affiliate links in this article which means, at no additional cost to you, we could receive compensation for our recommendations.

There are affiliate links in this article which means, at no additional cost to you, we could receive compensation for our recommendations.

I am thrilled to announce that I recently accepted a new position, read all about my promotion!

This is the job I applied for:

Executive to Supervise a Team of Micro-Managers

Candidate must possess the following qualifications:

  • Excellent conflict negotiation and resolution skills. Prior experience as an FBI hostage negotiator is a plus.
  • Great verbal communication in English. “French” is not a requirement, although candidates for similar positions have reported an urge to use the language after particularly intense meetings.
  • The ability to organize, arrange and categorize the same objects day in and day out, time and time again.
  • Creativity and imagination are must-haves. Expect to entertain the youngest team micro-managers with two popsicle sticks and an assortment of pompoms for an undetermined amount of time.
  • Must be proficient in common-core math. (Who are we kidding – no one understands common-core math.) Must be patient and able to count to ten, in 5,000 different ways.
  • Time management: The ability to squeeze 36 hours of productivity into 24 hours.
  • Energetic, or at a minimum fueled by coffee. The micro-managers have endless energy-sources and they never rest or recharge at the same time. Expect little to no down time.
  • Excellent driving record a must, long hours spent transporting micro-managers between education and sports facilities as well as large retail outlets.
  • Some (Let’s get real here) A LOT of cooking and cleaning with minimal productive assistance from the micro-managers.

Announcement! My big promotion. You do NOT want to miss this!

Hours:

  • Long Non-stop work hours.
  • No vacation days, alone time or sick days.
  • All bathroom breaks and meals will be closely supervised by the micromanagers.
  • There is one national holiday in your honor, but you are still expected to work.

Compensation:

  • Candidate must not be motivated by money.
  • There is a limited travel and expense account strictly for the purpose of entertaining the micro-managers. The account is paid in tokens only valid at the local carousel and frozen yogurt establishment.
  • Compensation is paid daily in the form of physical affection, including but not limited to bear hugs, pig piles, slobbery kisses and hastily delivered pecks on the cheek.
  • Holiday bonus: handmade ornament for the Christmas tree as well as a greeting card with hand prints by the micro-managers.

This is from one of our Executive Board Meetings with the Micro-Managers

Dress Code:

  • Candidate is expected to wear casual attire, preferably black yoga pants with a certain amount of bodily fluids and food remnants

Length of Contract:

  • In perpetuity, a life-long commitment is required.
  • The duties may change over time, but expect the next 18 years to include all the above outlined qualifications.

Application Process:

  • Please write your cover letter and resume on the back of a Pokemon card, if you wish to get the attention of the hiring micro-managers.
  • Interview will take place daily at the nearest Chuck E. Cheese restaurant. The candidate who can get the three year old micro-manager out of the establishment without tears, kicking OR screaming is hired on the spot.

Follow me on Facebook to get up-t0-the-minute fun updates on the latest and greatest in my new career.

Mama in the Now Signature

The workplace is a great source of humor for me, so don’t miss these other funny posts!

“Why I Like my Boss WAY Better Than my Toddler“

Find Out Why I Like My Boss Better Than My Toddler - on Scary Mommy!

“Get the Mommy-Track Stamp With These Simple Steps“

Get the "Mommy Track" Stamp With These Simple Steps

Filed Under: Motherhood, Our Life Tagged With: cute, family, Funny, Happiness, live in the now, Motherhood, Parenting Shortcut, work life balance

Comments

  1. Jessica says

    August 27, 2015 at 9:08 AM

    ohmigosh – this is just perfect!! I was seriously thinking just the other day how I ENVY you, with your boys (youngest the same age as mine!), super successful blog and working … now I just envy you more for getting this promotion! You are so awesome!! Congratulations and good luck on the job! 😉

  2. Sandra Watts says

    August 27, 2015 at 12:34 PM

    Congrats and enjoy!

  3. jlorentz06@gmail.com says

    August 27, 2015 at 1:22 PM

    Congratulations!!! Best career choice ever ?

  4. Becky Mansfield - yourmodernfamily.com says

    August 27, 2015 at 5:15 PM

    Cute, Tove!! 🙂

  5. mommyinsports says

    August 27, 2015 at 7:42 PM

    LOVE this – so creative and so incredibly happy for you! Good luck! Hope it’s all you imagined and more!

I am a Danish American mom of four boys parenting with heart, humor and hygge. Join me on this crazy ride. You will laugh more than you’d expect!

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