Play dates! Love them or hate them, they are a great way to get your child to socialize with their friends. Now that our two oldest are in elementary school they are starting to invite friends over to the house.
Sometimes we know the parents, but there have been times where we have set up “blind dates” for the boys. (“Blind date”: The kids are friends in school, but we don’t know the parents very well.)
Before a play date, I have a quick list of questions I ask, every single time – as if my child’s life depended on it! (Because it does!)
I urge every mom out there to kindly, gently and openly share as much information as she can, either before the playdate, or at drop off.
Below is the list of hot button topics that I always address upfront, so the other kid’s mom doesn’t have to tip-toe around the subject. I love full disclosure. We have nothing to hide and I want to reassure a fellow mom that her child will be treated with love and respect in a safe environment.
#PlayDateSafety! Ten questions you MUST ask! Your child's life depends on it! #Kids #GunSafety Click To TweetThe 10 questions I answer before hosting a play date – without being asked:
- Are there any guns, knives, weapons or alcohol in the house?
- (This is ALWAYS the first information I disclose. It breaks the ice and calms the other mom instantly!)
- We don’t have any, but good follow-up information would be: How they are stored and who has access.
- What pets are in the house?
- We only have a friendly fish. However, letting the parents know about furry friends and their temperament is appropriate for kids with allergies and those who are fearful of dogs.
- Who lives in the home?
- I like to let new friends know that we have four boys, so they are prepared for a lively house.
- Who will watch the kids?
- I try to be home the entire time our kids have friends over.
- But if I have to run out, I have the parent meet my husband who will then be watching them.
- What time is drop off and pick up?
- Setting the expectation up front of the length of the playdate helps both parties plan the rest of their day.
- I find that 2-3 hours is sufficient.
- I do shorter play dates if the kids have never played together before, just in case it isn’t a match.
- What are the planned activities?
- No, I don’t plan out a play date ahead of time. It is up to the kids to decide what they want to do with their friends.
- However, I find it helpful to share the following:
- Which video games they may play.
- We do not have a pool.
- We do not have a trampoline.
- The backyard is fenced in.
And then I turn the table and ask the other parent a few questions. Even if I know the child, I never assume that I have the answers to these questions.
- Does their child have any medical conditions that I need to be aware of?
- It’s important to know if you need to administer medication or watch for any particular symptoms.
- Are there any dietary restrictions or allergies?
- Ask this even if the child isn’t staying for mealtime. Kids ALWAYS get hungry on play dates. There is something irresistible about eating snacks at your friend’s house. The food always tastes better. Trust me!
- How can I reach them while their child is at our house?
- I also make sure they have our contact information.
- Does she want to see our house/ the play area?
- My husband knows by now that I offer parents to come inside. Before each playdate, he is frantically vacuuming and picking up toys. It is tempting to schedule playdates just for the sake of getting a clean house!
And now to the FREE stuff… I am so excited to share this printable with you. It is appropriate for so many occasions, but it is especially fitting for playdates.
The Contact Card is fillable, which means you can type in your information directly on the card before printing it. Leaving one with your child’s playdate when you drop him off is a great way to start the conversation if she hasn’t already shared all the information I mentioned.
Click here to download the FREE fillable printable!
Please share in the comments any additional information you disclose before a play date.
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Nina says
May 26, 2015 at 10:57 PMI’m not there yet with play dates but I hadn’t even thought of all these questions! We’ll see if I can even get past allowing them to go lol.
Mama in the Now says
May 27, 2015 at 10:42 AM– that’s my hardest part right now: finding the courage to let go!
jessica long says
May 28, 2015 at 7:17 AMOnce a weird Dad stayed at my House All Day. Awkward! make sure you ask if its a drop off! LOL or learn the hardway!
Mama in the Now says
May 28, 2015 at 9:35 AMOMG – that’s hysterical – I can ONLY imagine. Ha ha ha – what a great question!
Jenn Barrett says
May 28, 2015 at 7:47 AMThese are some awesome questions! My daughter is still young enough that I accompany her to play dates, but this is something I need for the future.
Anel says
May 28, 2015 at 9:42 PMThis is so important! My LO is still young, but I was thinking about this the other day after reading an article about the author not letting their children do sleepovers. These will make great references for when he is older! IT’s important to understand where and with who you leave your child with!
Rachel says
June 1, 2015 at 12:11 PMWow! Lots of important things to think about! Thanks for the suggestions!
Sarah says
June 1, 2015 at 1:15 PMGood questions to ask!
sarah poole says
June 1, 2015 at 10:50 PMIt never dawned on me to do this but it’s such a smart idea!
jamie davis says
June 2, 2015 at 1:21 AMThis is so helpful! Thank you! I’m socially awkward so I don’t know what to even say in these situations.
cassidy ciazza-morelli says
June 2, 2015 at 5:40 AMI’ve always been too inquisitive before play dates.. Its only gotten worse with my teenagers. But from my little ones to my big ones , at least I have the comfort of having screened a family as best I can for safety before exposing my children to the unknown.
Dandi D says
June 2, 2015 at 10:17 AMThese are great–I’ve been thinking we need to have a play date soon.
Rachel says
June 2, 2015 at 11:28 AMMy daughter is still too small to have a playdate, but these are great questions to keep in mind when the time comes. Make me nervous just thinking about it already! ACK.
Kylie M. says
June 2, 2015 at 3:45 PMi would have never thought to ask about food allergies. its not something i tend to think about since no one in our family has any. maybe just asking about allergies in general though. example: i have a sensitive allergy to latex. if one of my kids ends up with it too i would want other parents to know.
nicole weese says
June 2, 2015 at 4:41 PMThank you so much a lot of these questions I never thought to ask.
Angelique says
June 2, 2015 at 10:00 PMNot old enough for play dates yet, but this is a good list of questions. Not to intrusive and just enough info from both sides.
Sarh S says
June 3, 2015 at 1:06 PMThose are all good and important questions to ask. I don’t let my kids go to play dates, unless I’ll be there with them, I guess I’m too over protective or maybe just because we live in the inner city.
Emily says
June 6, 2015 at 9:39 AMAwesome guide! We are always away from play dates outside close family and friends but I’m bookmarking this as a reminder when we get a little bit older!
Kristen M. says
June 9, 2015 at 11:56 AMMy child isn’t old enough for this yet, but it’s a good thing to keep in mind!
Amber Ludwig says
June 11, 2015 at 10:06 AMI love that my child gets social interaction with other children!! Im a stay at home mom so a lot of tmes he just gets me 😉 He loves playing with other kids!! Thank you so much for this great list!! Its important questions that I tend to forget!! I would add if the kid has been sick at all recently!! I find so many parents bringing their sick kids places and it makes me insane!!
katie says
June 13, 2015 at 3:02 AMThese are all great questions and tips, it’s always better to be prepared.
Iris Schiller says
September 14, 2016 at 7:46 AMThis is great. The information you provide is excellent.