Today I am writing without purpose. There is no intent, no advice to give… today my fingers are dancing across the keyboard looking for answers, strength and time… I really just need more time. Time with the kids, time with my husband, time to get things done, time to live, time to write, time to be still, time to breathe – I just need TIME.
I think I asked for it, I wanted routine back in our lives. I looked forward to the school year starting, for the predictability and the scheduled activities. WHAT WAS I THINKING?
School certainly started, it’s back in full force! The kids are settled into their daily routine of waking up early, getting out the door – coming back through the same door several hours later. The kids are OK with their routine – so far. It’s me… I am the wild card – or at least so it feels.
Today my head is spinning with the things I need to do – for the kids, for their school, for the family, for work… I feel pulled in so many different directions. I know the direction I want to go in – I want to voluntarily move in one specific direction, but I feel pulled in the opposite direction constantly.
I normally come to this space with answers, solutions and advice. Today – the only thing I bring to the table is to-do lists, scattered thoughts and a frazzled mind. For that I am sorry. But maybe you need to see this side of me too – maybe it is healing for me and refreshing for you to see that this mother of four who works full time doesn’t always have it together.
I have written a couple of articles on “When work and Life Fail to Balance” and “Three Things to Do When You Struggle to Juggle” – all great advice (if I must say so myself). But today I need an article about “How to Create Time Out of Thin Air.” Google wasn’t any help, my friends just shook their heads and said “I don’t know how you do everything you do to begin with” – when all of a sudden I remembered a quote I saw at my doctor’s office: “Time plays no favorites. It will pass whether you act or not!”
So I can sit here and fret over not having enough time for things… or I can put on my big girl panties, shake off the blues and focus on living intentionally. Uhm – after all – am I not “Mama in the NOW”?!?!?!? Last I checked I was… so time to zip it and refocus. Complaining, having a pity party, and floundering through my day in a haze will do nothing other than exacerbate the situation.
Thanks for listening. This was not your usual blog post from me. I am sorry you didn’t leave here with the top ten ways of doing something. We will return to the regular scheduled programming shortly!
Until then – Share with me what you do when life overwhelms you! Please take the stage and comment!