Today I am writing without purpose. There is no intent, no advice to give… today my fingers are dancing across the keyboard looking for answers, strength and time… I really just need more time. Time with the kids, time with my husband, time to get things done, time to live, time to write, time to be still, time to breathe – I just need TIME.
I think I asked for it, I wanted routine back in our lives. I looked forward to the school year starting, for the predictability and the scheduled activities. WHAT WAS I THINKING?
School certainly started, it’s back in full force! The kids are settled into their daily routine of waking up early, getting out the door – coming back through the same door several hours later. The kids are OK with their routine – so far. It’s me… I am the wild card – or at least so it feels.
Today my head is spinning with the things I need to do – for the kids, for their school, for the family, for work… I feel pulled in so many different directions. I know the direction I want to go in – I want to voluntarily move in one specific direction, but I feel pulled in the opposite direction constantly.
I normally come to this space with answers, solutions and advice. Today – the only thing I bring to the table is to-do lists, scattered thoughts and a frazzled mind. For that I am sorry. But maybe you need to see this side of me too – maybe it is healing for me and refreshing for you to see that this mother of four who works full time doesn’t always have it together.
I have written a couple of articles on “When work and Life Fail to Balance” and “Three Things to Do When You Struggle to Juggle” – all great advice (if I must say so myself). But today I need an article about “How to Create Time Out of Thin Air.” Google wasn’t any help, my friends just shook their heads and said “I don’t know how you do everything you do to begin with” – when all of a sudden I remembered a quote I saw at my doctor’s office: “Time plays no favorites. It will pass whether you act or not!”
So I can sit here and fret over not having enough time for things… or I can put on my big girl panties, shake off the blues and focus on living intentionally. Uhm – after all – am I not “Mama in the NOW”?!?!?!? Last I checked I was… so time to zip it and refocus. Complaining, having a pity party, and floundering through my day in a haze will do nothing other than exacerbate the situation.
Thanks for listening. This was not your usual blog post from me. I am sorry you didn’t leave here with the top ten ways of doing something. We will return to the regular scheduled programming shortly!
Until then – Share with me what you do when life overwhelms you! Please take the stage and comment!
When this happens to me, I cut. Cut anything from the schedule that’s unnecessary. Take a blogging break. Say no to the Bible study I could join. Say no to volunteering at the school. Cancel playdates. Order out instead of cooking. Take an honest look at the things you have to do and ask just that…do I HAVE to do this?
Mama in the Now says
Aprille – such good advice! I AM really good at saying “NO” – but I need to just keep cutting back!
I just started reading this book called “Overwhelmed, work, love and play when no one has time” by Brigid Schulte, and it’s been really eye opening. I haven’t finished it yet, but so far one of things I’ve taken away from it is just straight up perspective, and how the language we use impacts the way we see reality. So if we’re constantly talking about how busy and stressed and there’s no time to do anything (and I say it all.the.time), then it’s that much worse. Yesterday, I kept claiming that we were having a relaxed, easy day, and there was plenty of time to get everything accomplished (even though it was just as overscheduled as the day before) – but I FELT better about it. And the kids relaxed too, because I was calm and then they were calm – and the whole day was easier. Plus, I keep telling myself that I have as much time as everyone else, I just choose to prioritize a lot of things – and it’s a matter of choosing what I want to focus my time on. I feel better when I’ve got an illusion of control 🙂
Actually loved it (though I love your usual too). I really hear the honest, humanity and real of it all. I’m sorry it’s so busy… I wish I could make time for you.
Yes yes yes. Proud of you for writing even nothing’s coming. We can all relate.
Ann Miller says
I think you have to grin and bare it. You helped deal those cards and now you have to play the game. I promise you they all grow up (way too fast) so enjoy the moment.
Sounds tough —- not meant to be