The words “mama, come look” should scare every mother of boys. Raising boys isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for moms with big hearts!
“Mama, mama, come look!”… Motherhood taught me early on that those exact words can mean a wide variety of things and to brace myself for the strangest, grossest, weirdest or most foul-smelling experience of my life.
He had just turned three years old, when he called from the living room with great excitement and pride in his voice. “Mama, you GOTTA see this!”
Oh boy… I hesitantly hurried through the house, scared and worried all at the same time. What NOW!?!
Our son had been sitting on the couch, watching Handy Manny when something SO important happened. I walked up to the couch, saw my cherub-like child… proudly manhandling “himself”.
He turned his head, looked at me with more glee in his eyes than on Christmas morning and said: “Look mama, I have a screw driver, like Handy Manny!”… and from then on, Handy Manny was ruined for me.The BEST tips for #RaisingBoys from a #boymom of four #boys! #Parenting Click To Tweet
Fast forward a few years, we now have four boys, even our pet fish “Porkchop” is male. There is an over-abundance of testosterone in our house. I grew up with one older sister, so I was never exposed to the crazy world of a boy childhood.
Going into motherhood, I was grossly under-prepared for the life lessons ahead of me… But I am fast learner – so here are the top 10 things you NEED to know about raising boys!
Disclaimer: Some of my observations may apply to girls too, but my reality is a boy world, so bear with me if I am gender-stereotyping.
10 Things You Need To Know About Raising Boys:
- You will become immune to seeing penises!
- Big, small, soft, hard, circumcised, intact, peeing, hanging out, growers or showers – nothing will faze you. This may be a blessing or a curse, I will let you be the judge of that.
- As a direct result of # 1: You will say “penis” in public as often as other people day “Hi, how are you?”!
- The word will fly out of your mouth whenever you address your child. He may even begin to think his name is “Penises are private!”
- Not every brown stain is chocolate!
- Chances are far greater that the “dirt” under your child’s nails has seen more butt than soil.
- When testing the origin of a brown stain, use your nose instead of your taste buds… just in case!
- Boys come with one of two personalities: either you have to hire the CIA to interrogate him to find out what he had for lunch at school… or you have will have to limit your child on the number of words he can speak in a day.
- There is simply no in-between. We have two kids of each personality type.
- Boys have little magnets in their hands, arms, legs and feet!
- These little magnets cause them to be automatically drawn towards other little XY-chromosome-carrying beings.
- Their wrestling and tumbling is not something that is taught.
- Boys seek each other out and then start to wrestle, as if it was the most socially acceptable greeting.
- It is the equivalent of butt-sniffing dogs.
- Boys love to copy their parents – just like girls do!
- It is only natural for a child to emulate the behavior they see in their parents, regardless of whether it is their mom or dad.
- Boys will at some point want to wear make up, steal your bra and stumble through the house in your high heels.
- It is perfectly normal, so don’t shame them or discourage it – but feel free to laugh along side of them… because dressing up in your parent’s clothes is always funny.
- You are their first love!
- There is no love like the one a little boy feels for his mama.
- You are the almighty healer of boo-boos, the provider of the just-right meals (sandwiches without crust, the right kind of mac & cheese – whatever the favorite meal du jour is, you get it right, most of the time) and you are the comforter of tantrums.
- They look at you with admiration and awe – time and time again. They don’t care about your bed head or morning breath. They love your stained yoga pants and worn out flip-flops.
- Little boys LOVE their mamas – completely, utterly and unconditionally. (May this never change!)
- Because of # 7: Be the type of woman that you want them to admire well into adulthood!
- Show your little man that it is OK for mom to have interests outside of the home. Whether it is a job, hobby or volunteering, it is good for your son (and daughters too) to see that their mom is a well-rounded being.
- Our boys love my blog, they want to be part of the photos and posts whenever possible. They know my writing is important to me and they respect when I need peace and quiet to write… ok – that’s a stretch, because “quiet” doesn’t happen in our house.
- Shooting games happen!
- You may never buy your child a toy gun. You may very well prohibit shooting toys from entering your home. Yet somehow, your boys STILL start to play cops and robbers or some other variant of the age-old “good guy vs. bad guy” game.
- They may build guns out of LEGO bricks, toilet paper rolls, sticks – or simply use their fingers – it is just a matter of time.
- Clothes are optional!
- You have been raised to believe that one should be fully clothed before leaving the house. Raising one or more boys will quickly change that mindset.
- The whole “shirt and shoes required” is a thing of the past.
- In our house, someone is always shirtless or “free-balling” it – and there is NOTHING I can do about it… other than run around frantic when the door bell rings, yelling “GET YOUR PANTS ON!”
Life with a house full of boys is utterly odd, exhausting, loud and at times down-right foul-smelling.
But at the end of the day, when the last wrestling match has ended, the LEGO guns are left on the floor waiting for an unsuspecting foot and their stained underwear is scattered throughout the house that’s when two, four, six, sometimes even eight long and skinny arms wrap around my neck.
I get the biggest bear hug and I smile as he nestles his nose against the nape of my neck, inhales deeply as if to confirm my identity merely by scent. He exhales completely, relaxes, rests his head on my shoulders for a nano-second… and then off he goes – with a quick “I love you, mama!”
As a mother of boys, what are your thoughts on raising boys in the “#MeToo era”? This boy mom has great tips.
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