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Mama In The Now

Boy Mom Life With Humor and Hygge

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The Night I Saved The Girl With Steel Blue Eyes

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There are affiliate links in this article which means, at no additional cost to you, we could receive compensation for our recommendations.

The Night I Saved The Girl With Steel Blue Eyes:

I looked deeply into her vaguely familiar steel blue eyes. There was a warmth about them, but also something so broken, sad and lacking sparkle. We stood there and stared each other down for a long time. That’s when I heard it – his words. His words had become my voice. His cold, loveless, self-righteous words sent chills down my spine. In an instant whatever little warmth I had detected in her eyes was gone.

The Night I Saved The Girls With Steel Blue Eyes. An empowering and encouraging story of how one young woman broke free from an abusive relationship. Domestic violence victims, present and past will connect with this girl's brave journey. It took me 20 years to share my story!

His voice:

Perhaps I WAS ugly! Why DID I even bother to wear makeup?! It DID make me look like a clown! Who, just who was I trying to impress?! Did I really think anyone else would find me attractive?!

The image of his smirk was etched in my memory and would remain there for many years to come. Now, twenty years later I am proud to look into her sparkling steel blue eyes and see nothing but happiness and a love for life. But back in 1995, when I faced the mirror, I saw the reflection of a sad, lonely and very scared young girl. His words had over the past two years slapped me in the face, crushed my spirit, worn down my self-esteem and kicked me into submission, until this day…

[bctt tweet=”The night I saved the girl with steel blue eyes. My story of leaving #DomesticViolence”]

I was raised to believe in myself. I had moved to Florida three years prior to live the American dream, not to be stuck in a nightmare. “You are better than this. His words are empty. Pick yourself up. You have to take the first step, everything will fall into place. Follow your heart!” After a few tries, my own words of encouragement took over and kicked his degrading callous voice to the curb.

Planning for the future:

I had to be smart. I had to out-smart the man who spent most of his waking hours trying to convince me of his superiority. I had to plan every step and make sure the decisions were mine – and only mine. Times were going to be tough, hard and lonely – I intuitively knew it – but my courage and strength came from a place not many people ever need to reach. I was truly in survival mode.

I started saving my money, not enough to be missed out of our joint budget, but enough to grow every week. My grocery bill now included $20, sometimes even $40 cash back. The stash was kept safely in my desk at work. I confided in no one. I barely even trusted the girl with the steel blue eyes.

After a few months of increased insults, explosive mood swings – his, never mine – and constant verbal assaults, I finally had enough cash to bravely pick up a newspaper. There, on the left side, mid-way down was an ad for a room-mate. I called the number, met the girl, gave vague details, saw the home – relief flooded over me. THIS was the right time, the right place, the right everything – it was time to right countless wrongs.

He had spent two years telling me that THIS was as far as I would go, as high as I would reach, he tried – he really did.

The Night I Saved The Girls With Steel Blue Eyes. An empowering and encouraging story of how one young woman broke free from an abusive relationship. Domestic violence victims, present and past will connect with this girl's brave journey. It took me 20 years to share my story!

The night her eyes sparkled:

He went out of town for Christmas. Some thought that was cold of him – I was thankful for the opportunity. When you travel light, your entire life fits perfectly in the backseat of a beige 1981 Dodge Diplomat. Even the ironing board with the burnt cover and wobbly legs came with me.

The evening he returned went like this: “Welcome home. I am leaving!”

I felt braver and more empowered than I had in years. Not his words, his cold eyes or dry hands would ever hurt me – never again. After years of living with a low-life, you thankfully develop street smarts and survival skills. I confidently grabbed my keys and purse and headed towards the front door.

There were two cars parked down the street. The drivers and passengers were on the alert, ready to jump into action if I didn’t walk out of the door within a few minutes. I didn’t know how it had happened, but when good-hearted people heard of a young woman trying to leave an abusive relationship they rallied around me in support. The husbands of several coworkers showed up, to protect and empower me to take the hardest and the bravest steps towards a new beginning.

I had almost reached the front door, when I looked one last time at the fist-sized hole in the wall. It had been there for a few months now, a testament to his escalating rage. I thought “better you, wall, than my face!”… and with that parting thought my steel blue eyes sparkled with hope for a better future – my American dream.

Thank you for allowing me to share my story of domestic violence and how I broke free after several years. Today is the 20th anniversary of the night I left. The words “Follow Your Heart” were my mantra through the time that I prepared to leave. It is my hope that my story will empower other women to “follow their heart!” (although I know that leaving is much more complicated than just having a fancy mantra!)

Mama in the Now Signature

Filed Under: Motherhood, Relationships Tagged With: family, Happiness, health, live in the now, Motherhood

Comments

  1. Emily @ My Love for Words says

    December 27, 2015 at 12:24 PM

    Very powerful! You’re very brave and generous to share this story because I’m sure many others will be helped by it.

    • Mama in the Now says

      December 27, 2015 at 10:03 PM

      I hope this will help someone else!

  2. hencyn77 says

    December 27, 2015 at 9:31 AM

    I grew up with domestic violence that was more than frightening. I am so happy that you were able to escape and now have such happiness in your life. <3

    • Mama in the Now says

      December 27, 2015 at 10:02 PM

      Thank you!

  3. Krista says

    December 27, 2015 at 3:38 PM

    Beautifully told!! Thank you for sharing! I know your bravery and this story will reach just the right eyes and will inspire another young woman to be brave too. All the best to you!

    • Mama in the Now says

      December 27, 2015 at 10:02 PM

      Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I sure do hope this will help someone else.

  4. Sidney says

    December 27, 2015 at 9:03 PM

    I’m so glad you shared.

  5. triciathegoodmama says

    December 28, 2015 at 11:46 AM

    This was so beautifully written. I’m so glad you had the courage to leave that day and the courage to share your story. I hope your words help someone in a similar situation find the strength to leave.

  6. mommyinsports says

    December 28, 2015 at 2:42 PM

    So incredibly beautiful. I’m so happy you are happy and safe now, your story will help many.

  7. SpanishTraci says

    May 30, 2016 at 4:28 PM

    Im on the cusp of taking the same road. The abuse is mostly verbal with lots of twisted mind games. (Gas-lighting etc) just depends on how much he drinks and how much I’ll put up with. Im afraid of being broke. Im afraid my son will be devestated. These are the things that keep me here. But soon I hope to have that sparkle in my eyes too!

    • Mama in the Now says

      May 30, 2016 at 11:25 PM

      Good luck, mama. It’s a hard road… but it is even harder to stay in the long run. BEST OF LUCK!!!!

  8. Sandra Caballero says

    July 31, 2016 at 3:13 AM

    Beautiful words. I love it that you made yourself strong with positive thoughts that you could do it by following your heart. I really do love ” Follow Your Heart” I’m glad that you are living happy. Thank you for sharing.

  9. Denise Deck says

    December 10, 2017 at 3:09 PM

    Thank you for your story. I am beginning to develop a safety plan myself as well as plans to save $$.

    • Mama in the Now says

      December 13, 2017 at 10:12 PM

      I wish you the BEST of luck! Stay strong!!!

  10. Vandy says

    June 22, 2020 at 9:32 PM

    I am in a very toxic relationship for a year now. Initially it went well, I found the man of my dreams, he slowly took me away from all my friends and family, I started disappointing and deceiving them. It was as if I wasn’t me. Something else took over me. N then started his emotional abuses. I was blamed for everything, even for discussing my emotions. My stress, my health , my emotional ups and downs, as if, doesn’t matter anymore. My confidence is all time low, I am on anti depressants and all my stress related issues, PCOD, cervical, acidic refluxes are back. I am not able to perform in my job, in short I am on my life’s lowest point. But I have decided to move on n that’s when I came across your article. Super motivating, I wish god give me strength to take the most difficult step of my life. Leaving that one person I loved completely for my own respect and honour.

I am a Danish American mom of four boys parenting with heart, humor and hygge. Join me on this crazy ride. You will laugh more than you’d expect!

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