Man Cold vs. Mom Cold

As soon as the temperatures drop, noses across the land start to drip, voices get rough and hoarse and one by one, our good men fall victim to the man cold!

I have received information and materials from Johnson & Johnson Consumer, Inc., McNeil Consumer Healthcare Division. The opinions stated are my own. This is a sponsored post. This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #WinOverWinter #CollectiveBias

I don’t bother looking at the clock, I can tell my the weight of my eye lids that it’s way past midnight. The house has been quiet for hours, if you don’t count the loud snoring coming from our bedroom. (He sure is snoring loudly tonight, I wonder if he’s OK?)

These are the magical mom-hours, when the kids are fast asleep, the TVs are shut off and moms across the land are busy scurrying around their houses checking things off their untouched to-do lists.

My muscles ache although it’s been months since my last workout. My throat feels scratchy although I haven’t even been singing at the top of my lungs at a concert in years. My body temperature fluctuates between freezing cold to hot flashes – and I am pretty certain that menopause is not on my agenda for another few years.

I crawl into bed and drift off to sleep within a matter of mere seconds… only to be rudely awoken by loud snoring and the heat of my husband’s body. My motherly instincts instantly kick in, as I roll over to check the temperature of his forehead.

Diagnosis: Man Cold!

Yup – he’s burning up. Several of our kids have just been sick, so I happen to have the thermometer on my nightstand. Parents know that fevers tend to magically appear out of nowhere in the middle of the night, hence the easy access to the thermometer.

In usual ninja-mom style, I check my husband’s temperature without waking him up… only to confirm that he in fact has caught the children’s germs. Just for fun, I decide to take my own temperature… Oh wow… my temperature is just as high – which only explains all the aches and pains that I dismissed earlier.

I quietly sneak out of bed, take a couple of Extra Strength Tylenol® and I wake my husband up, urging him to do the same. The Tylenol® quickly calms our fevers, aches and discomfort, so we at least can get somewhat of a restful night’s sleep.

The next morning, I am faced with the stark contrast between a man cold vs. a mom cold.

The Man Cold vs. The Mom Cold!

My husband starts his morning by sending an email to the office, informing them of his poor health. I start my day by feeding four kids breakfast, packing three lunches, changing one diaper and finding five lost shoes – before I pile all of our off-spring in the mini-van, so I can get them to school – on time.

The rest of the morning, my husband stays in bed, behind closed curtains and bedroom door – resting and recuperating.

After school drop offs, I run to Target… hoping to feel the magical healing powers of Target-shopping… and at a minimum, I need to stock up on home-health items for my husband.

[bctt tweet=”The Man Cold vs. The Mom Cold! – She wins every time! #ManCold @Target @Tylenol” username=”MamaintheNow”]

I AM feeling the effects of my cold, but… it is “ONLY” a mom-cold, after all, my poor husband has a full-blown man-cold… nothing to mess with!

As I push my red plastic chariot around Target, I think of the distinct differences between a man cold vs. a mom cold…

Man Cold:

1. In bed all day.
2. Too sick to eat.
3. Wears PJs.
4. No contact with kids to avoid getting them sick.
5. Fever, headaches, sore throat, runny nose and cough.
6. Home from work.
7. Kids know dad is sick.
8. A lot of whine.
9. Is served homemade soup.
10. Stays in a dark room with white noise.
11. Puts a bag of frozen peas over his eyes.
12. Calls his mom for sympathy.
13. Time stands still when he is sick.
14. Duration of cold – actual: forever.
15. Duration of cold – perception: forever and a day.
16. Get well kit: Tylenol®, tissues, heating pad, thermometer, fuzzy socks, throat lozenges, herbal tea, vitamins, chicken soup, humidifier, and of course Tylenol™ PM

Mom Cold:

1. In bed – at midnight.
2. Too busy to eat.
3. Wears yoga pants, as usual.
4. No point in avoiding the kids. They got her sick.
5. Symptoms? What symptoms?
6. Home IS work.
7. Kids know mom doesn’t get sick.
8. Not enough wine.
9. Grabs a stale cracker.
10. In the car with loud kids.
11. Makes healthy dinner with peas.
12. Calls her mom next week when she feels better.
13. The world spirals out of control when she’s sick.
14. Duration of cold – actual: two weeks.
15. Duration of cold – perception: what cold?
16. Get well kit: Tylenol® and coffee.

The severity of a man cold is not anything I would wish on my worst enemy. Moms, we must stay strong against germs – not just for our kids’ health, but also for our own sanity – God forbid our men catch the pesky bugs.

I urge you to RUSH to Target, immediately! You must stock up on all the necessary items for a man-cold get well kit – and be sure to grab yourself a grande coffee and a cute shirt, while you are there… you deserve it!