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Mama In The Now

Parenting With Heart And Humor

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How To Be Proud Of Your Parenting Choices, Even When Others Disagree

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I smile. Smiling is what I do when I am at a loss for words. I turn my eyes towards the ground, as if I have just been scolded. There I am, looking at my feet, still smiling.

What is wrong with me? I have done nothing wrong. “Lift your head up, hold it high and own this” I tell myself. I don’t actually SAY the words because I don’t want them to know that they got to me.

I’m still smiling, but now it’s a little less forced. When I lifted my head, my nose brushed against his hair. The smell of sweet sweat is stuck in my nostrils.

How to be proud of your parenting choices, when others disagree. This empowering post will help you stand strong when your mommy friends give you a hard time. Attachment parenting for the win.

I don’t mind it, at all. This is the scent that any mother welcomes. She could probably pick out her kin in a line-up for kids with sweaty hair. It’s a mom thing.

The smell, and now I am starting to feel the heat from his body squished against mine in the unrelenting humidity. The two of us have melted into a blob of perspiration in the afternoon sun, but it’s OK. I am not here to impress anyone – which I remind myself of when I lift my head and hold it high – so high that the sun is blinding me.

UGH – I have to get away from this nightmare of a playground. All of a sudden I feel like a trapped deer, frantically searching of an escape route. I can’t even pretend to listen to their conversation any longer. I just want to leave – STAT!

“Can he walk?”, “Do his legs work?”, “He realizes the cord has been cut, right?”… the put-downs, the insults, call them what you want… they rain down on us, they just keep coming.

They don’t wait for me to answer. Clearly their comments aren’t meant as conversation openers, dialog kick starters. Nope – they are meant as jabs and not so subtle hints that maybe, just maybe, our toddler shouldn’t still be carried in his oh-so-chic toddler carrier.

How to be proud of your #ParentingChoices - when others disagree. #AttachmentParenting Click To Tweet

Jonah, 2.5 years old is snug as a bug in a rug in his little nest. Arms are tucked in and his head is resting on my shoulder. He has his face turned towards my body to either shield himself from their comments or just to be that much closer to mama.

I realize that our parenting style isn’t for everyone, and that’s fine. Their parenting style isn’t for us either. I know what they are thinking, well – it’s not really hard to figure out since they are nice enough to vocalize their thoughts. But they also make a point to repeat their comments every time we get together, so there is no guesswork.

Apparently I baby our baby! Yup that’s my gravest parenting offense. I babied all of our babies, while they were (wait for it…) BABIES. But this particular group of “friends” (I use that term loosely) weren’t around back then – and I have a feeling they won’t be around much longer either.

Our baby is now 2.5 years old, which to me is not the “big boy” age they claim he has reached. Our oldest is 9, so yes – I know how quickly it goes. I realize that one day this little extension of me will keep his mama at an arm’s length distance – and we will only travel around the sun a few times before that day comes.

With our first baby, I rushed the milestones. I couldn’t wait to see what was behind the next door, the quicker the better.

With our second son, who had some medical complications, I longed for the milestones to get here, as a confirmation of how well he was doing.

By the time the third arrived on the scene, I knew that time was precious. But he was a force to be reckoned with, weighing 11lbs 5oz at birth. There wasn’t anything that was going to slow down this little freight train.

Our fourth, and last joined our family when peace had settled over us as parents. We know that time flies and that every stage is a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things.

So when Jonah asks to be held, wants “nursies” or cries for me in the middle of the night, I am going to happily fulfill his request.

It is no longer a matter of months before he stops asking for “nursies,” I already see the signs, more and more each day. Soon thereafter he will sleep through the night regularly…

There will eventually also come a time when he no longer wants to be held. When he will either use his God-given legs or happily sit in a stroller when we are out and about.

But until that day… until HE is ready, and not when a group of bored bullying moms decide he ought to be ready, he will continue to be held, rocked and nursed.

Still smiling… because remember, that’s what I do… I gather our belongings and tell the moms that we are leaving. They stop talking for a few minutes and remind me that we were supposed to hang out much longer.

I almost start to apologize for leaving. I start to make up an excuse, as Jonah wakes up crying. The timing couldn’t have been better.

Jonah cries and clear as day says “Mama, I want nursies!” – and those are my parting words. I leave the moms standing in the sweltering heat so they can talk about the fact that I am still nursing our toddler.

Do you want to see how cute this toddler and his four older brothers are? Make sure to follow me on Instagram. I share quite a few gems there… in addition to lots of LEGO pics.

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Filed Under: Baby (0-1 years), Breastfeeding, Motherhood, Toddler (2-5 years)

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  1. Sandra Caballero says

    July 23, 2016 at 2:33 PM

    As long my daughters are happy and we’ll feed. Is what matters to me. I’m happy when my kids are happy.

    Reply
  2. Molly says

    July 23, 2016 at 6:25 PM

    I needed this post today, thank you for this! You are being a wonderful mom and doing an amazing job. I’m sorry people can be so rude

    Reply
  3. Dandi D says

    July 23, 2016 at 10:32 PM

    This is so good to read–you are your children’s mother, and you know best!

    Reply
  4. familyfavoritethings says

    July 23, 2016 at 11:27 PM

    This is an important thing for me to remember. All of our children are different and only we can know the best route for them!

    Reply
  5. Amber Ludwig says

    July 26, 2016 at 10:09 AM

    Never ever ever be ashamed of babying your baby!! I wish I would’ve babied mine more now knowing he will be my only!! He’s 3 1/2 now and I can still baby him sometimes but its a struggle some days lol!! Cherish the times they let us love on them <3 they are far too short!

    Reply
  6. Cheryl Layshock says

    July 26, 2016 at 11:11 AM

    It is so hard being a mom. Especially when you get unwanted comments concerning how you parent. When I had my first baby, I was shocked at how judgemental some moms can be. I assumed that all moms were like my mom, very sweet. Boy was I wrong! I’ve learned to not let things get to me. Thank you so much for this post.

    Reply
  7. Stefanie Ryan says

    July 26, 2016 at 1:36 PM

    It can be really difficult to know if you are doing the right thing, but us mamas always know what is best for our littles!

    Reply
  8. Levy Overstreet Broome says

    July 27, 2016 at 8:25 AM

    People need to learn when to keep their opinions to themselves. You do what works for you as a parent. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job!

    Reply
  9. Danielle says

    July 27, 2016 at 5:07 PM

    You are spot on; each child is different and has different needs, and it is our job as mothers to listen and honor those needs as best we can. I am so happy and grateful to hear your story, and especially that you carry your babies still! My son is 1.5 yo and LOVES to be carried! In fact, I just bought a new external frame carrier that goes up to 45 lbs. (I hope he likes to be carried for that much longer!). I too wake in the night to feed my son, and my parents are actually the ones who are most critical, especially of that, and continuing to nurse past age one. So it’s a challenge, and your story made me feel a lot better for sticking up for what is best for our family. Thank you!

    Reply
  10. Diana says

    September 15, 2016 at 11:56 PM

    I needed this so much. Most Moms even my husband has uttered the phrase “you baby him”. But he is our fourth. I am truly a seasoned parent when it comes to toddlers and babies and I wish…oh God I wish….I had figured it out sooner. How to stop counting down the milestones and just allow myself to enjoy each fleeting moment. When I look back upon my parenting I now feel fulfilled. There are hard moments but I’m comfortable with the messy floors and fingerprints on each window. I’m embracing this season of life. Oh and side note Nurse on fellow toddler nursing Mom! Nurse on! You rock!

    Xoxo

    Reply
    • Mama in the Now says

      September 16, 2016 at 10:01 PM

      O M G – thank you for sweet comment. You are SO right, stop counting the milestones… they WILL come – and the sleepless phases WILL end… Just stop and smell the sweet baby scents. I rock the messy floors – I actually specialize in them!!! You rock too!!!

      Reply
Hejsa! I am a Danish American mama to four boys! I report live from the trenches of motherhood, surrounded by life, love, laughter and lots of LEGO!

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